all about me

I am sick of the “Bad Boy” trope. I am sick of the guy liner and the ripped jeans, the black shirts and the devilish smiles. I am sick of the sexual innuendoes and the gross comments, sick of the recklessness and the misogyny. I am sick of the good, kind, decent male characters constantly being pushed out of the picture to make way for the scowling, broody, sexist bad boys. And I am sick of the romanticization of the “Bad Boy” character, sick of the claims that bad boys just need to be loved, that they will change for the “right” woman, that all they need is the “love of a good woman”. Enough. We need to starting seeing bad boys for what they are - BAD boys.

I have dated bad boys before and believe me, there is nothing romantic or glamorous about dating a bad boy. They are nothing like their media portrayals. They are not secretly sensitive or sweet “once you get to know them” or “loving to a few” or broken souls who “need to be loved”. They are sexist and controlling and dangerous and unpredictable and (most importantly) they will not and can not be changed by the love of a good woman - and it’s not our job as women to change them. That’s not on us, and the idea that it should be is gross and damaging.

And I don’t say this without evidence. As I said, I have dated bad boys. Once upon a time, I was very attracted to bad boys. But these kind of guys are BAD NEWS. They are unhealthy and dangerous; at best, bad boys will demean and ignore you, at worst, they will abuse and control you. Unfortunately, the constant romanticization of the “Bad Boy” character in the media (from Damon Salvatore in TVD to Killian Jones in OUAT) completely glosses over these facts. The media is determined to make the bad boy trope the winning one, determined to eradicate the idea that a GOOD GUY is actually the better option.

And the worst part? WE BUY INTO IT. For some unfathomable reason we strong, amazing females EAT THIS SHIT UP WITH A SPOON. It is evident everywhere - from the adoration for the Spuffy relationship in BtVS, to the OUAT fandom’s obsession with the CS ship and their vilifying of Neal and SwanFire, to the TVD fandom’s infatuation with the Delena and Klaroline relationships (despite the dangerous and abusive elements in both ships).

There are far too many unhealthy and/or problematic relationships being portrayed on TV, far too many romanticized bad boys. We need to stop encouraging these portrayals and start showing girls the reality of dating a bad boy. People may say that I’m overreacting but the bottom line is that we learn from the media. We absorb the lessons and the messages presented in our shows and these messages help to shape our views on relationships and romance, and given that so many shows are glorifying the “bad boy” in some way or another, I think we all have reason to be concerned.

I have to ask one very important question here - what is wrong with the GOOD GUY? Why do we turn away from the decent, selfless, kind men, who treat their partners right and are danger-free? Because they’re so often viewed as “boring”? Believe me, I would take “boring” (but safe, loving and kind) over a bad boy any day. “Boring” is better than abusive, misogynistic, controlling, manipulative and stalkery, no matter how “sexy” and “entertaining” the bad boy is.

This trend of the bad boy winning, of the bad boy being so damn popular, is both alarming and disturbing. Instead of encouraging the female audience to embrace the good guy, to realise that the good guy is the better (safer and more stable) choice, we are hoisting bad boys up on pedestals and allowing/encouraging young girls to glorify them. In romanticizing the bad boy, in condoning problematic and unhealthy relationships, we are sending a god-awful message to those who watch these shows. We are allowing the audience (and the creators) to ignore and excuse all problematic aspects of the “bad boy” and any relationships he may have. And this needs to stop.

- sulietsexual (via edwardrockbells)

15 / 30 / 49 / 51 / 85

c: thanks emily

15. Do you care if people talk badly about you? - Most of the time I do care (especially if I find out that person was someone I thought I could trust) but at the same time, I sometimes feel indifferent about it because I can’t expect everyone to keep their opinions to themselves. so it is what it is :/

30. Does anyone hate you? — lol hate’s a really strong word. but people have told me they disliked something I’ve done / said.

49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago? — I was 20 two years ago and thankfully my life is not like it was it was. It’s gotten a lot better (:

51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with? — I don’t hate my brother (haha) but he’s not perfect. like some sibling relationships, we can get on each other’s nerves.

85.  Are you over your past? — I’m not 100% percent over it but I’m getting there. One step at a time. 


asked by lilypotterr
hannahsider:

Daje Barbour (U Model Management)
Hannah Sider ©
Some real creepy shit, get your fix.
  • 1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?
  • 2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?
  • 3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time?
  • 4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?
  • 5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?
  • 6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?
  • 7. What exactly are you wearing right now?
  • 8. How often do you listen to music?
  • 9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?
  • 10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2013?
  • 11. Are you a social or an antisocial person?
  • 12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’?
  • 13. What about ‘R’?
  • 14. Can you drive a stick shift?
  • 15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?
  • 16. Are you going out of town soon?
  • 17. When was the last time you cried?
  • 18. Have you ever told someone you loved them?
  • 19. If you could change your eye color, would you?
  • 20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for?
  • 21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having.
  • 22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead?
  • 23. Are you dating the last person you talked to?
  • 24. What are you sitting on right now?
  • 25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?
  • 26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?
  • 27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?
  • 28. Do you get a lot of colds?
  • 29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from?
  • 30. Does anyone hate you?
  • 31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room?
  • 32. Do you like watching scary movies?
  • 33. Do you want your tongue pierced?
  • 34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?
  • 35. Did you have a dream last night?
  • 36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?
  • 37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?
  • 38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?
  • 39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?
  • 40. Did you have a good day yesterday?
  • 41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship?
  • 42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl?
  • 43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?
  • 44. What’s the best part about school?
  • 45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?
  • 46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school?
  • 47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head?
  • 48. Were you single over the last summer?
  • 49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago?
  • 50. What are you supposed to be doing right now?
  • 51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?
  • 52. Are you nice to everyone?
  • 53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?
  • 54. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?
  • 55. Are you good at hiding your feelings?
  • 56. Do you think you like someone?
  • 57. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’?
  • 58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?
  • 59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry?
  • 60. Do you hate anyone?
  • 61. How’s your heart?
  • 62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?
  • 63. Have you ever cried over a guy?
  • 64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now?
  • 65. Are your toenails painted pink?
  • 66. Will your next kiss be a mistake?
  • 67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct?
  • 68. Have your pants ever fallen down in public?
  • 69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with?
  • 70. How do you look right now?
  • 71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around?
  • 72. Can you commit to one person?
  • 73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?
  • 74. Have you ever felt replaced?
  • 75. Did you wake up cranky?
  • 76. Are you a jealous person?
  • 77. Are relationships ever worth it?
  • 78. Anyone you’re giving up on?
  • 79. Currently wanting to see anyone?
  • 80. Name something you have to do tomorrow?
  • 81. Last person you cried in front of?
  • 82. Is there someone you will never forget?
  • 83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you?
  • 84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?
  • 85. Are you over your past?
  • 86. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex?
  • 87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to?
  • 88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?
  • 89. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in?
  • 90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?
  • 91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months?
  • 92. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael?
  • 93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew?
  • 94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going?
  • 95. Were you happy with the person you liked in March?
  • 96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive?
  • 97. Who do you have texts from?
  • 98. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?
  • 99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?
  • 100. Who’s in your profile picture with you?
  • 101. Ever kissed under fireworks?
  • 102. Has anybody ever given you butterflies?

sleekbw:

Gemma Arterton photographed by Gilles-Marie Zimmermann, 2014 (x)
blacktinabelcher:

Why is this Freddie from icarly
I can’t say no when these are free. #ilovemyjob #cookies #chips ahoy #yum